Lending Support to Fathers

June 16, 2011 thenestlexington

As an organization that strives to provide resources to keep families healthy, the particular concerns of fathers recently came to our attention. In our society today, fewer than half of all children live in a traditional nuclear family with both of their parents. Other children live with single parents, step-families, co-habitating couples, etc. According to the Centers for Disease Control, even fewer children of poverty, 25 percent, live in a traditional family.

Most often, it’s the mother who is living with the children. In our work, however, we meet many fathers who express a sincere desire to truly be a “dad” to their children. They love their children but maintaining a relationship with them isn’t always easy. Work takes time and energy. Relationships can be difficult. If they don’t live with the mother of their children, communication can suffer and more problems ensue.

The Nest recently tried a new approach to helping fathers by holding a parenting class just for them. The small group of men all had children, primarily with a woman with whom they no longer maintain a romantic relationship. But, they didn’t want to lose touch with their children.

Parenting coordinator Kim Beatty facilitated the group and said she wanted to, “Let them know they can get the same support and assistance the mothers get.” In talking with the fathers she discovered they feel they are not treated the same way by the legal system.

These are the sorts of things they would be unlikely to express in a parenting class where women were present. “They said they liked the fact that it was all guys here. They could open up and talk about things they wouldn’t if there were women in the group,” Kim says.

One of the issues the men discussed was what happens when they get a new girlfriend. The men have found that’s typically when there are more problems with spending time with their children. In the group they could share their experiences and potential ways to address the problem.

Kim enjoyed offering this opportunity to fathers. “It gave me a different outlook on the parenting group,” she says.

It also helped the men expand their own outlooks.

As the shape of the American family evolves, The Nest will continue to seek the best ways to help families become a stable and happy part of Lexington.

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