Grandparents raising grandkids

April 22, 2011 thenestlexington

As part of Child Abuse Awareness Month, we want to recognize some very special people in our society today who provide loving care for so many. These people are grandparents.

Some children grow up looking forward to a visit to Grandma and Grandpa’s house. It’s a time for ice cream, card games and outings. It’s a chance to be spoiled by those people who so love you but no longer have to take the strong disciplinary role they did as parents. It’s a time to just be a kid.

Many children today have very different experiences with grandparents. According to the Pew Research Center, one in 10 children in the U.S. lives with a grandparent. The most recent Census data reveals that more than 2,000 grandparents in Fayette County have responsibility for their grandchildren.

We see some of these grandparents at The Nest. They typically come to us for respite care or emergency assistance. They didn’t expect to be raising another child and they often don’t have as much stamina to keep up with the child as when they were younger, so they appreciate a caregiver break even if it’s for a couple of days a week.

For some grandparents, raising the child themselves is the only choice they can make if they ever want to see the child again. Otherwise, he or she might be sent into the child welfare system. Verlene is one such grandmother. She’s been raising her granddaughter since she was four month old. Anissah will be three-years-old this summer.

“I’m worn out but she’s so precious,” Verlene says. Although she didn’t think she would be getting down on the floor again to color with a child, she says “It’s really a joy.”

It is draining, but Verlene recognizes that it’s good for her. The 65-year-old says she doesn’t have to go to the doctor as often as she did previously. “She’s actually pulling me up. She’s given me a little energy.”

Because Verlene has fewer responsibilities than she did when her three children were young, she says, “I have the time with her I didn’t have with my babies.” That allows Verlene to give more thought to decisions she makes for her.

Verlene’s youngest daughter (not the child’s mother) takes her sometimes on weekends to give Verlene a rest, but during those times Verlene misses her.

Like many grandparents, Verlene has had to learn about the legalities connected with being a grandparent parent. She’s not able to get public assistance to help her with expenses related to raising the child and she doesn’t have the money to hire a lawyer to pursue legal avenues, which could be complicated, partly because Verlene doesn’t know where the girl’s mother is.

When Verlene’s sister told her about The Nest’s child care program, she checked it out because Verlene says, “She needs to be around kids.” Verlene sees how smart her granddaughter is and brags about how after she reads a story to Annisah, the little girl repeats the story back to her. 

Sometimes, like when her potty training efforts aren’t rewarded, Verlene can feel tired and frustrated. Still, she says, “I wouldn’t give it up for nothing.”

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